It's Back

It's been awhile since I posted my beloved bullet point lists...and I thought to myself, self, I'm sure your readers are longing for some bullet points...

And I aim to please.

• I left ya hanging a little yesterday with my deeply profound statement. *cough*  Never fear, I'm working on more of it...but I actually am putting a little effort into it (shocking, I know) It will come...eventually.
• Church stuff gives me a lot of fodder for posts that would be quite entertaining...unfortunately, it would also be inappropriate.  Boo.
• Yesterday, a church member stopped by to discuss some funeral luncheon arrangements, as we sat in my living room, amongst piles of laundry (because I didn't know she was stopping) Jake and his friend James were busy playing upstairs.  Twenty minutes or so later I heard the splashing of water.  Turns out they were carrying tubs of WATER from the bathroom to Jake's bedroom (no idea why) and it all ended up in the hallway on the lovely gold shag carpeting.  Needless to say I looked like the worlds best pastor's wife, mom, house keeper and day care provider.  It was a shining moment ;)
• Jake and James are now banned from upstairs...they get to remain where I can keep my eye on them at all times. 
• My son is the instigator.  For sure. 
• Is it possible to miss someone you've never met?  This is a question I've been thinking about after Julie said something to the effect that it was weird that she felt like she missed us, even though we've never met in person. She made my day saying that, because I feel the same way!  We're connected now, through the miracle of technology.  And can't wait till she can be here and physically be a part of our family.  Without a doubt God hand-picked her for this crazy adventure.
• Life seems to be moving in fast forward lately...I'm wishing there were a pause button so I could stop and take a nap for a little bit before hitting play again.
• Happy Thursday!

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Failure...

Yesterday I spent 2 hours in the waiting room at the dental office while each of my boys had their check-up. I didn't have an appointment myself (because I haven't rescheduled from canceling in June :) It gave me plenty of time to think...

I would rather

• give birth
• barf
• go to the gynecologist

than to the dentist. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Our dentist is a wonderfully kind and gentle man, and his hygienists couldn't be sweeter...but it still not enough for me to think kindly of them. It's nothing personal. I know they're just doing their job...in fact, they actually have our best interests at heart. Just trying to help me and my children from becoming victims of rotten teeth and gum disease.

I am not fond of the smell, the drill, the drool...all of it. But WORSE than all of that is the way I feel when I leave.

Do I floss? nope, unless 1 week before my appointment counts ;)

Do I make sure my kids have brushed ever tooth thoroughly morning and night? No

Do I drink too much coffee? *insert eye roll*

Did I bribe my kids with more sugar if they were good at the dentist? yep

Since I was a little girl, every time I leave the dentist I feel like a big, fat, FAILURE. Simply from not doing what I already know I should be doing. The dentist doesn't harass me or scold me...but I leave feeling like an idiot none the less.

It would make sense, logically, that to avoid this feeling of failure I would floss everyday, stay away from the "sugar bugs" and actually keep my 6 month cleaning appointment instead of canceling it. Easy peasy.

But I never do that. Instead, I do all the things I'm not supposed to, resent the dentist and avoid it at all costs until it's absolutely necessary I go. All the while blaming the dentist for their evil tools of torture and nauseating smell. After all, who is he to tell me what to do?!? I don't smoke or do other things that would be bad for my teeth so SURELY he could give me a little break, right?!?

I think the way I feel about going to the dentist is the way many feel about going to church.

And that's what I'm pondering for today...

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Yiddle Man

Dear Jake,





You crack me up. I wish I could bottle up who you are today and save it for later. The way you say "yiddle" instead of little. Your odd breakfast choices...uncooked oatmeal, for example. You are one of a kind little man.





Someday I will miss the way we battle over the letter and dinosaur magnets all over the fridge. Those dimples that show themselves when you smile, which you know I cannot resist. The way you smile and wipe off every kiss I give you. And whenever I say, I love you Jakob you smile and reply I love daddy or I love Odie...just to be a stinker. Your inability to cope with anything when you are tired, just like your mama.





I tease you that you will always be my baby, to which you reply I AM NOT A BABY! You are getting bigger...but you and your brothers will always be my babies. I want to watch you grow and mature into a godly man, but inside, I will always cherish these moments when you are all mine. These moments when my biggest worry is the fact that you've spread shaving cream all over your bedroom...or cut something into pieces...again.



Can you stay 3 years and 8 months just a little while longer?


Love,





Mom





Lord, help me to cherish these moments...and begin instilling in me the courage I need to face puberty with three boys.





Amen.

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Confessions From an Un-Romantic

Hello.

My name is Sarah and I am completely un-romantic.

I am.

I do not want a mushy Hallmark card or roses...I don't even like roses.  Give me daisies or a plant or carnations for that matter...but no roses, especially red ones.  

Weird, I know.

Many weeks ago I had mentioned to my husband that I wanted  new knives...you know, for all the cooking I do *cough* ...He listened.

Guess what I got for Valentines Day?  

Knives.

How did I feel about that?

Wonderful.  For real.

I'm not sure what it says about a couple who get each other knives and season 2 of 24  for Valentines Day but, for us...it means we're madly in love...and more importantly, we get each other.  *smile*

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I Am a Pastor's Wife...

I've been a pastor's wife for all of three years, so my knowledge is limited to say the least. I'm hardly one that's been around long enough to have a whole lot of wisdom for anyone, but since ya'll asked I can at least give you my take on it all ;)

Becoming a pastor was always an option for Ben. It was that, or a veterinarian. I thought the veterinarian option was a good choice, after all, he could still serve in a church...and I could be a normal wife. Deep down, I knew that if God called him to ministry that it meant He called me too. I was positive Ben would make a great pastor, and I was also positive that I had a good chance of ruining it for him...just by being myself.

Looking back, I think I was right. Left to myself, I would totally ruin it.

What I didn't foresee all those years ago, was that God would take me...my personality, my quirks...and He would tweak them to make them useful in ministry. I am talking about a lot of tweaking.

I could be honest without being harsh. Speak truth, covered in love. Be real without jeopardizing privacy. Love a tiny town. Have a burden for people I don't even know. The list goes on and on...all stuff that I never thought possible, because I never considered the fact that if this is what He called me to, then He would go above and beyond equipping me. He knows my faults and weaknesses better than me, of course He knew what He was getting into!

Here's the questions...

What's been the biggest struggle so far as a pastor's wife? Oddly enough my biggest struggle has always been this. Becoming a pastor's wife didn't fix it or magically make it easier, if anything it made it blatantly more obvious to me how absolutely essential it is for me to be in His word. Without it I have no hope of making a positive difference in anyone's life, especially those in my church.

How do you stay connected to women in your church? It's important to me that the women in our church know me. If I'm not sharing my heart with them, then they're likely to make assumptions on my motives and actions. If I can share with them my struggles and my hopes and they can see that I want God to use me and to change me, I think it makes it easier for them to be gracious and give me the benefit of the doubt. For me, I need them to know that I am one of them. I have the same struggles and issues that each of them have.

On the flip side of that, I do sort of have my own personal "hedge" of protection regarding close friendships with ladies in my church. Many of these girlies in my church are wonderful friends of mine and we can share the day to day stuff of life. They are trustworthy friends, however, for their protection and mine I choose to have my closest confidants be outside of our congregation. This way neither of us is put into a position that is going to become complicated. This is a hedge we placed before even beginning our ministry here.

If I could go back, 10 years ago to when Ben started seminary I'd tell myself this...

• I know you don't feel like you fit the "mold" of a pastor's wife. You're not the only one...turns out there's a lot like you.
• Be friendlier. Your first church is gonna be in a tiny town and God's gonna change you into a person that learns to reach out to people first, and it turns out, it's not so bad and you're gonna wish you'd allowed Him to change you so much sooner.
• You're gonna come upon lots of situations that you feel completely inadequate to deal with. And frankly, your ARE inadequate to deal with them, don't be scared of that...it's in those times He will show Himself strongest.
• Just love people. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Take a good look at the condition of your own heart before you attempt to judge the actions or motives of anyone else. Remember the enormous amount of grace that's been offered to you, and extend that same grace.
• Smile... a lot. Admit your ignorance. Laugh...at everything. For real. Find the joy.
• Let Him show you who you are, don't tell Him who you think you are. You're gonna end up doing some ministries that you're pretty sure you don't wanna do...turns out you're wrong.
• You're gonna be blown away watching your husband shepherd a church. That 17 year old boy you fell in love with is gonna be a great pastor.
• and you're never gonna get used to people calling him pastor ;) and you're not gonna like being introduced at the pastor's wife, but you'll get over it...sort of ;)
• Don't believe every ones horror stories of parsonages and bad pastoring experiences. Their stories are probably true, but God is writing your story...go to Him for the details.
• Believe Him for big things.

Wow, welcome to my longest post ever ;) For those in ministry who might want to read more, you can click on the left side of my blog under the "ministry" label, I've written several things previously about my experience as a pastor's wife.

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Conflicted

Good questions yesterday!  Now I have some blog fodder for a few posts...phew.

Gina from Louisville asked: Do you ever feel conflicted between living simply, being frugal, focusing on inner beauty versus the world, being fashionable, spending and looking good? 

One word answer:  Absolutely.

Long answer:  There always seems to be a pull to be off-balance.   It seems that something in my humanity wants to veer off course in one direction or another, regarding so many different areas of life.  We go to extremes.  And no matter what the thing is, we run the risk of making an idol out of it when it becomes extreme.

Saint Augustine said idolatry is worshiping what should be used or using what should be worshiped.  

It is easy to become obsessed with outer beauty, material possessions and appearances.  By obsessed I simply mean letting them consume my thoughts.  The same goes for the opposite of these things.  I can become consumed in striving for the simple, saving money, even frugality can become an idol if given the chance.  

Who and what consumes me?  It's the question I'm always having to ask my wandering heart.  If my answer is Jesus, then all the rest is just simply fun stuff. If my answer is anything other than Jesus, it's now become an idol.

I have an penchant for extremes.  I've often said that the reason I have not and do not consume alcohol is because I'd likely be a raging alcoholic.  I'm not even  kidding.

I think that it is fully possible for me as a woman to live simply, be frugal, be changed from the inside out while still being fashionable and making the best of the outside appearance that God has given me...all within a budget.  Now...I say possible...as in something I'm continually trying to get a handle on :)

One last thought on inner beauty:  I am absolutely and thoroughly convinced that Christ shines through His people.  Knowing Him and walking closely with Him won't change my face shape or my body shape, but I know that it will change my heart, and what's in my heart is going to overflow from me.  My words, my thoughts, my actions...and some people will be drawn to it, and some will be repulsed by it.  In our humanness I think we sometimes equate such things to physical aspects, when in reality we are being drawn in by a persons presence...we just don't have a good way to describe that.

Thanks Gina for that great question!  I'd love to hear all your thoughts on this one :)

Tomorrow, my thoughts on being a pastor's wife...need I say more ;)

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Riveting...

Let's play a little game.  

Let's pretend I can't think of anything to blog about.  Doesn't mean I can't think...just means that everything I think of is not blog appropriate...or I've talked about it endlessly already...or it means I can't think.

So your part of the game is for you to ask me some questions and then I get to answer and I promise I won't make it drag out for more than ten one post.

I know you can come up with something.  Know how I know?!?  Because I'm totally stealing this idea from other posts I've seen...so I know.

Leave me a comment with a question...any question and then I can try to come up with an answer...not necessarily the right answer, but an answer.  Or you can email me at lifeintheparsonage@gmail.com

Good times, huh?  Don't answer that...

Before I go, I'll leave you with the answer to, what I'm sure is your most pressing question.  Colgate Total Whitening toothpaste...it's what I use...I think its the best toothpaste ever.  Riveting aren't I.

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