Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Resisting

I am realizing that there are areas in my spiritual walk that I am resisting God. Certain areas that I see Him wanting to change, and feel Him changing, and my gut instinct is to resist Him and flee back to what is comfortable.


I am about a quarter through Breaking Free. I'm usually a speedy reader...but this one I need to really let sink in. When I read a book, I always need my own copy because I like to underline sentences that stick out to me, so that later on I can skim back through and find what I'm looking for (you should see what my Bible looks like) Anyways, needless to say, much of this book is underlined already! It's amazing how well it fits in with the Seeking Him study...maybe too well :)

Here's some of what I'm learning so far...
  • Changing my behavior & thoughts is HARD. And not fun...at all. I want a quick fix. And yet the deeper I get into this study, the more I realize how far I have left to go! I want God to do it for me...I want to just magically love difficult people...instead, God gives me opportunities to follow His instructions and love them. *God has said to me: Too bad little lady...I have a better way, keep on following Me and you'll see it*
  • Pride...it is a problem. It may be at the root of all problems. I sort of had my own definition of pride: Anyone who thinks they're better than someone else, or believes they don't need anyone else. Somewhere along the way, I adopted that definition...probably to convince myself that since I don't see myself as "better" then I obviously do not have an issue with pride. Wrong definition. SO WRONG. Seriously, any person who thinks they don't have an issue with pride is likely the very person with a HUGE pride problem!
  • Pride = Self. That's what I'm learning. At the root of all the areas that need changing, self is the problem. I am learning to humble myself, because I do not want God to do it for me :) On a side note: humbling myself is something I have to do constantly. CONSTANTLY.

There's more...so much more..but for now, the main thing is that I do not want to resist God changing me! And I'm looking ahead, longingly, for the day when changing seems easier...or there is less changing to be done! I know it will be worth it!

- A new blog friend has a wonderful post on longings...it spoke to my heart because it just "fits" with all this stuff I'm learning. She has a great way with words and God's truth!

7 comments:

  1. Also, the pride stuff you mentioned reminded me of a post by Sara at Walk Slowly Live Wildly. It kicked my butt the first time I read it and I reread it every once in awhile just for a refresher.

    Read it here.

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  2. great post! thanks for sharing your heart, your struggles.....being real!
    I am just amazed by -J! Her posts are really blowing me away lately! I have to print some of them out to study, meditate and highlight with a marker!!!

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  3. You know, today I went back to my very first blog entry. I shared there my purpose for beginning the blog, and you are doing exactly what I hoped to to:

    "...I think God would have us live our lives 'out loud' a bit more so that we might learn from one another, and be encouraged."

    I both learn from you and am encouraged. THANK YOU for living 'out loud.' It matters; it is worth it; you are accomplishing His purposes...even if it stinks to walk this road sometimes! ;-)

    Feeling your pain, sharing your journey,
    -J

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  4. P.S. Thanks for the link. May God use this servant's journey and journal to the eternal praise of His glory.

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  5. You are real & I KNOW that is what I'm drawn to.
    That's what makes me want to come back for more.
    That's why you, my blogger friend, are making a difference in the lives of others. :)

    Thanks.

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  6. This was really good, Sarah! I also checked out the link Heth gave us. Ouch. I have a long way to go too.

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