Friday, October 3, 2008

I Make it Difficult...

Have you ever been absolutely positively certain about something? I mean really thoroughly convinced of what you feel, certain that your feeling won't change?



I have.



And I've had those very same feelings change, in the blink of an eye...which always tends to feel a tad bit disturbing at the time.



I know, deep in my heart that God knows the desires of my heart better than me. He's proved this over and OVER about a zillion times in my 30 years of existence.



Why then, do I go about life, trying to push my own agenda? Trying to convince Him of what I truly want, sometimes feeling like He's gonna make me do something I don't want to do and I'll be totally miserable?



It makes no sense...it's gotta stop.



I mentioned yesterday that God is ever so gently showing me areas in my life that I have maintained control of...haven't quite handed over to him...or handed over and then snatched right back.



I'm good at that. Hanging onto something till I realize I've completely messed it up or I'm completely unsure of what I want...then go before Him, begging for His wisdom and direction, and then getting discouraged when He doesn't immediately tell me what I should do.



I realized this week that He doesn't immediately tell me what to do, because I'm not even in a place to be able to hear Him.



How do I get to that place? It's a question I ask all the time...it's a question I was asked this week.



The answer is simple but I don't often like it.



Obedience.



His way...trusting Him, taking those hard steps of faith that are sometimes so very scary. Out of the boat and onto the crashing waves, so to speak. Sometimes the steps are so very basic that we ignore them...thinking they're too simple, wanting to just jump ahead.



I generally want Him give me some sort of assurance that this is gonna work out for me...that whatever the step of faith it would feel easy. But that is not required of Him...He owes me no guarantee, except that He will be with me, and that I am required to obey if I want His blessing on my life. And, I have the absolute guarantee that He knows more than I do.



So, today...if you're feeling His nudging in some area of your life, but you're resisting...you're not alone. And, if you're choosing to obey, and are still scared outta your mind...still not alone. And if you're resting on the assurance that it's ok to be scared, but trusting He's got a plan...not alone. I'm with ya on all of it.

18 comments:

  1. Hi my name is Sheila Reimer, I found your blog and I feel very connected to you, I too am a pastors wife in a tiny town, in Saskatchewan, Canada, I also just have boys, 2 of them, your thoughts are very much like mine, and it makes me excited to know, that just because I am a pastors wife I am NOT PERFECT!, you are such an insperation to me, I feel like I am sitting down with you having coffee and talking {when I read your blog} It is so nice to know there are other pastor wives out there who are REAL. Thank you so much for your blog!

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  2. alright, that's it. enough convicting me girl. HEE HEE!! i sure enjoy your heart sarah. your deep desire to be obedient and your real, honest struggles with getting there. you speak my kinda language and stir my own heart to look deeper and respond. hang in there. i look forward to the post where you share all the blessings God loves on you with because you obeyed Him.

    have a good weekend friend!

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  3. Thanks for your encouragement! That white flag of surrender can feel oh so dangerous! Letting go and feeling utterly helpless to do anything about it-that's where Faith comes in right? love the blog!

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  4. Love the last paragraph!! :)

    Good stuff Sarah. REAL good.

    Hope your weekend is full of good things!

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  5. So, did you have to post this today?? :) Yes, I'm thinkin' you did.
    I just find that AVOIDANCE works pretty good too. :) I know - so not the right way.
    Thanks for going there. It really was what I needed to hear!

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  6. Yes. 33 years of this. Sometimes my fear is wrapped around this thought:
    I may have disobeyed for so long that there's no way I'm going to obey myself back to the "right" path.
    That's not a fun thought. And it's not from God, and yet I stay stuck there, holding tight to the fear.
    Thank you for your honesty.

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  7. Yep, I'm there. I'm more than scared, and I am probably resisting waaay too much. The thing that gets me is when you say that we feel that God will make me do something I don't want and then I'll be miserable. That is precisely how I feel right now, and I know it's so messed up. I just need to give it to Him. Again.

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  8. That's a good word Sarah!

    Trust and obey,
    For there's no other way
    To be happy in Jesus
    But to trust and obey!

    Love you!

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  9. Hi Sarah!
    Just getting caught up on all my blog reading!
    Great post!!

    We finished up Seeking Him last week and are having a closing out thingy tonight. Just wanted to thank you again for the input! We loved it and plan to do it again next year.

    Hope y'all have a wonderful weekend

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  10. What's really convicting about this is that when we do not yield, we're not in a place to be used by God until we do.

    Talk about motivation. But yes, we all struggle with this.

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  11. I feel like you keep talking directly to me. My pastor has that same talent. I'm guessing that it would be God nudging me to do something I just don't wanna do. Doesn't that sound like a 3 years old?! Thanks for tellin' it like it is.

    Hugs!

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  12. WOW!!! That was some good stuff, girl!! I NEED to hear it, read it...
    Thanks for sharing your heart...I know I am not alone!
    blessings,
    Carla

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  13. Thanks for visiting me the other day. It's great meeting new friends.

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  14. How can we be so far away and be going through the exact same thing? Weird, once again.

    Once again, God is causing me (pushing me) to get out of my comfort zone. I'm just trying to obey, but am fearful and as always, feel inadequate.

    Thanks for this.

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  15. Great Word. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am glad to know that I am not the only Starbucks freak (sorry that was so not related to your blog post!)!

    Looking forward to getting to know you and figuring out this thing we call faith.

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  16. Giving it to Him, and then snatching it back? Ya, that's me. Me, me.

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  17. Thank you! I found this very encouraging. I have been dealing with the same thing latley. Thank you for sharing!!

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