Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Got Me Thinking...

I've been thinking a little lately about Pastor's wives.  As you already know, I sometimes find things funny that normal people would not think are funny.

Here's what I think is funny (and I will proceed to explain it to you in a way that butchers it and makes it un-funny...what can I say, it's a gift I have)...

So, in every church I've been a part of, the Pastor's wife is usually called upon to give devotionals at the "ladies get-togethers"  Oh you know what I'm talking about, bridal showers, baby showers, mother/daughter teas,  camp retreats etc.   Sometimes it's the pastor's wife of the actual church represented, or other times it's one from a neighboring church (of the same denomination of course *cough*)

I have a theory:  I think there are two lists that are out there regarding speaking engagements.  Because, somehow, becoming a pastors wife automatically qualifies you to give devotionals.  And when you do become a pastor's wife they put your name on one of the two lists.  They are as follows:

  1. The Pastor's wife who is wise, soft spoken, experienced, well spoken, all around not going to say something crazy, well known by other churches because she faithfully attends all local, regional and state meetings. Her resume is good. 
  2. The Pastor's wife who, although very sweet, is a tad unpredictable.   She hides out from many of the "meetings" hoping to  forever remain the "new girl" that no one in the association knows by name.   Her resume is a little "iffy" ...and she sometimes finds things funny that are not meant to be funny ;)
Guess which list I'm on?  *smile*  The truth is, no one put me on a list, I choose which list.

Neither list is right or wrong, they're both good...just different.  Different according to what God has called us to.  I like list 2.  For me, it's freedom...freedom to be who I am in Christ.  For those on list 1, it's freedom too, because it's what they're called to. Different but the same.  Make sense?

As women, we're called to different things in different seasons of our lives.  Let's be comfortable in what He's called us to, and let's encourage those who are called to something different than us.

I received an email recently that challenged me to really dig into what it means, as a woman, to intimately know Christ.  I came across this passage by T.D. Jakes in the book The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord...He says, 

 "Once a woman understands that Christ is her goal, she seems able to focus on Him, allure Him, and entertain Him with a level of praise that is so engrossing that she is healed by His touch and fulfilled by His Word.  I have seen women who were so impacted by His invisible presence that they were able to walk away from the presence of others who were far more tangible, but far less effective."

That's what I want.  That's the place I'm called to be.  Good stuff.


  1. so true, my friend. so many unspoken or unwritten 'rules', huh? i may journal & post some of my experience... and what i've learned along the way... one day.

  2. Sarah,what a beautiful and true post!Hope you have a very Blessed Mothers Day! Blessings, Faye

  3. Good stuff, indeed!!


  4. I think you have a good perspective of living out of the box gives freedom to live More for the Lord!

  5. How "funny"!! I used to be on list number 2. Now, I'm not on either!! We started a church from scratch and things are sooo different for me. PTL

    Your posts are so cute and honest!


  6. Good job saying what needs to be said! I, too, find things funny that others don't (hence the having to make my first blog "sleeping with the pastor" private after moving to a very, very small town!). Sometimes, I don't think church people "get" me because they don't take the time to get to know me for who I am. It's nice to be reminded that I only have to be who God wants me to be!

  7. I'm so glad you posted this. I'm not a pastor's wife but I always seem to think things are funny that really aren't meant to be. And even worse, I try to be funny and crack myself up, then later realize I shouldn't have said it, that maybe it wasn't that funny. i.e. stealing your FB status to talk about wedgies. Sorry if that was super lame! I just seem to have a knack for not quite hitting the mark. I don't always think before I blurt.

  8. So thankful for a pastor's wife who thru her example nurtures each of our ladies to be all GOD wants them to be without her own aggenda.
    (she also tolerates run on sentences)
    I love you!

  9. SO TRUE!

    My Mom grew up as a PK and then married a pastor (who is getting ready to retire from the pastorate in a few weeks after 40-some years). She is NOT your stereotypical pastor's wife. She doesn't like to be upfront. She loves people dearly, but being around them all the time drains her.

    She told me, when she was younger, she used to try to be everything to everyone in the church. But it sucked the joy from her life. By the time I was 10 (and my youngest brother was a newborn), she made peace with it and started saying, "No, I'm sorry," a lot.

    She eventually found that her place is children's ministry -- and even there, she doesn't lead. She just faithfully teaches her 2nd grade Sunday school class, week after week. (I think she's been doing it for about 15 years now.)

    Be who you are, no more, no less. That's where God's green pasture is for you.

  10. Sweet. =) I bet you're such an awesome pastor's wife! I want to come visit your church!

  11. That quote is like a long sip of ice cold lemonade after a grueling gardening spell, where the soft skin of your arm wipes away the beads of sweat and hot as you are, thirsty as you are it feels like silk going down your throat and leaves you satisfied with knowing your hard work has now become a thing of beauty.

  12. Don't forget...pastor's wives are always called on to pray out loud also. Ha!

    Love the quote from TD Jakes' booth. What an awesome place to be. Thanks for sharing!

  13. You have found your freedom when you figure out it's not about "expectations".
    First 2 questions I was asked as a new PW: Do you play piano? Nope
    Do you sing? Defintely nope!

  14. I'm a pastor's wife too, but I'm not sure I fit in either group. Probably closer to #2. But I definitely want to be that woman that is so impacted by God's presence!

  15. Loved you post Sarah. I have read T.D. Jakes book a few years ago and it left an imprint on me and how neat it was to read this passage again.
    A friend and I were just talking about the different seasons in a womens life and then I read your post:) Love you Mom

  16. Hahaha! I am defintely on list 2! I like to think of myself as "a breath of fresh air" but it probably comes across more as immaturity! :)

  17. Your lists are interesting and true. It's funny how we automatically become speakers after our husbands take over the pulpit. I guess people figure that since we've heard so many sermons, we ought to be able to give a decent devotional.

    I think I'm also on list 2 right now...just a little unpredictable.

  18. Great post! I love the two lists and I have to say, that I've tried to fit on both of the lists at times. Now after 12 years in ministry, I choose "freedom" and to be "real" and I'm much happier and I think the Lord is more pleased with me because I'm not trying to be something I'm not!

    Wow, I'm thinkin' you and I could have some great conversations on the subject of Pastor's wives!!! Love your blog and I'm so glad I found it.

  19. P.S. I posted a funny video on my blog that you might be interested in seeing. It's about how Preacher's use their wives in sermon illustrations....the song on the video is called, "Before He Speaks," seriously you've gotta see it! I'm pretty sure most Pastor's wives can relate to it!!!


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