Balance

I'm learning that, on my own, I have a bit of trouble balancing my life. When I jump into something, I JUMP in. Sometimes that's good, and sometimes...not so much. I could list many areas in my life where this has/is true. It's not a surprise, I've kinda known it...but this tragedy in tiny-town has made me so much more aware of it.


I need God to show me what to do, where to go, when and how much. Does that make sense? On my own, I'm excessive in some areas, and completely lacking in others. Exhausting.


As I re-read my last post, I realized that one of the reasons I want "normal" back, is because I am having trouble balancing the tragedy that has occurred with every day life. Focusing on all the devastation leaves me feeling empty and depleted, yet enjoying life makes me feel guilty. My family lost nothing in the tornado. So many friends, lost everything. In order to make up for that, I've taken some huge burden upon myself to grieve over all of them...to want to help all of them...in the meantime, I've found myself utterly frustrated with myself and others for not doing enough.


Yesterday afternoon I found myself complaining to God. Wish I could call it prayer, but it wasn't...it was more like a combination of whining & begging. But God, ever so quietly, has been speaking to my heart. Here's what He's shown me...

• He took me to the book of Psalms *sigh* what better place!?!
• I am feeling overwhelmed because I am taking on burdens that are not mine to bear. I repeat: NOT MINE TO BEAR. Some of them are...but I have excessively heaped loads of stuff onto myself that I CANNOT possibly handle. I do it out of guilt, I think. This does no one any good. I need to rely on Him for the who, what, when, where and how much questions.
• He is willing to teach me how to live joyfully amidst chaos, if I will just LET him.

I know that these issues were there, for me, long before tragedy hit. I know many others struggle with the same problem of balancing...it is not new or unique to me. But I no longer want to deal with it like I always have...I want to learn to allow Him to show me HEALTHY ways to deal with life amidst chaos.

One little verse that really grabbed me was Psalms 90:12

"Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are; help us to spend them as we should."

Here's to that!

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Bring Normal Back!

I miss normal. Normal, boring, everything in its place life. All talk in tiny town(s) revolves around the devastation left by the tornado...which is okay, because we're all in it together. It binds us together. It's almost therapeutic. It will continue to consume much of my life here in tiny town...but in bloggy land, I need my normal back. I need to write and share other stuff.


So, from now on...I need to blog about other stuff. I'll update you now and then, and feel free to email me and ask how it's going...SO just because I'm back to blogging about....hmmm, whatever it was I blogged about before...just remember that in real life...the tornado talk lives on :)


OK, so for some completely useless information, you should know that I have not put make-up on or done my hair since Sunday morning. I have turned into a grungy slob. BECAUSE, red-patent shoes are not tornado-clean-up friendly...and if I can't wear cute shoes...who cares about the rest of the outfit. Seriously. I really could use some cute gloves or something! A HA! NOW I remember what I blogged about!!! So glad to have normal back :)

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Today...

This song sums up life in tiny town today...

I'm sure I looked like a crazy woman as I belted this at the top of my lungs in my mini-van. Life is good.

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It's Official...

I'm officially a red-neck...

I know, I know, it takes a special kind of stupid to work outside all day with no sunblock. Oh, I brought it...but actually put it on...not so much. My pasty white skin is paying the price, bloggy friends...paying the price. *smiles*

The clean-up and recovery from tornado stuff is going to take, what seems like, FOREVER :) I'll keep ya updated now and then though. Thank you for your prayers for everyone involved...keep 'em coming.

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Update On Tiny-Town

We have electricity again! We spent the day at Shanon's house, salvaging what we could...which was not much. It's physically and emotionally exhausting for everyone, but especially those who have lost so much. People here are amazing. EVERYONE coming alongside their neighbors and working together. It truly is inspiring.

Also, for as much devastation as there is, the stories of God's mercy in so, so many lives brings me to my knees.

Thank you for your words of encouragement and especially for your prayers! Here are a few pictures...

This is all that is left of the front of Shanon's (very large) house...the entire roof is nowhere to be found.

This is part of the back...but what the whole thing looks like.

There were lots of pine trees lining the cemetery as you enter tiny-town...this is what is left.

The clean up has just begun. It's the first time I've ever experienced something like this...praying it is the last.

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Tiny Town Will Never be the Same...

We had a tornado hit our tiny-town, last night around 5PM. The boys and I were in another town for a graduation, but Ben was home, and in the basement. I was able to get back into town around 8 last night, and just sobbed driving through town to get to our house...trees are down everywhere. Our home and everything is fine.


A few minutes after I got home, my friend Shanon, pulled into our drive, still in her Dr. Scrubs...she wanted to make sure we were alright....her big, beautiful house that sits on the edge of tiny-town is completely gone. We are so thankful that she was at work, and her husband and 3 little ones were in WI visiting family...no one was home. I will never forget that moment when she said, "It's gone."


Another small town, 8 miles west of tiny-town was completely devastated. We have 2 families from our church who live there...they are all physically fine, but one is missing their roof, windows, and their dog was killed. 2 people are confirmed dead from our tiny town and 5 people from the other small town. It is devastating.


We were evacuated last night because there is no power, and stayed the night at my parents. We're hoping to be able to get back into town to help clean up. Please pray, bloggy friends.



Here a picture of my good friend, Shanon. She's the one in the front, with the red sweater. Please keep her and her family lifted up in prayer as they face the coming days. Praise God they are all safe!




I will try to update once everything is up and running again...I have no idea how long that will be...I knew I had to post, because I have such amazing prayer warriors out there, who've come to love tiny-town without even knowing it's real name :)

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Not My Friend...

By now, you're probably getting sick of me talking about my computer idiotness...but it is never ending. It's part of what kept me from starting a blog for several months...I was sure I wouldn't be able to figure it out. Luckily, blogger is fairly user-friendly, and I had the help of several friends who kept (keep) sending detailed instructions that a 5 year old could follow. I love them.

There is still one thing though...one teeny-tiny SUPER annoying thing that I CANNOT figure out. Feedburner. Just typing it makes me want to shove the computer monitor off the desk...ok, not really. If you happen to have no idea what feedburner is, count your blessings. For some reason, it says I only have 29 subscribers. It also says, everyday, that I have had no visitors, and no page views to my blog. Apparently, Sitemeter, and my little counter thingy and all of those comments ya'll leave are figments of my imagination. Feedburner is giving me a complex...someone fix it...pretty please.

On a completely different subject, I bought this CD yesterday. I CANNOT stop listening to this song. So, I've mentioned before I have OCD issues with music...this is no surprise...but I love this song. I'm sure the rest of the CD is great...I wouldn't know yet, I can't get past #4.

Happy Friday, imaginary friends who do not really exist according to Feedburner!

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