The Tough Stuff...

The past couple of weeks I have been in the Repentance chapter of Seeking Him. *Sigh* Good, good stuff...too overwhelming (for my writing capabilities) to put into words. Through it though, God has been nudging my heart to do something it DOES NOT want to do...and I've decided to share it with you. I know I've got some praying ladies out there...and I'm SO gonna need them.


I mentioned here that my parents divorced when I was 21. It was traumatic for everyone involved. The most painful aspect of it all was that it was revealed that there had been years of adultery, lies, and deception involved, on my father's part. When given the choice to reconcile and choose his family, or this other woman and his "freedom" ....he chose her...he chose himself. It absolutely rocked me to to the core. I could not understand it...and it hurt me in ways that I cannot describe.


How did I respond? At first, pleading and begging were involved. I was SURE that if I could just make him see what he was doing that he would change. It did not work. That's when I decided to fight fire with fire. It was ultimatum time. I was sure this would work. I sat him down, and very logically said to him, "You choose her and I will have no part of it. I won't hang around and be a part of that life." Again, he chose her. I was sure he was calling my bluff. So I set out to prove that I meant it, and I did. For close to 5 years I had no contact with him. I had my first 2 babies...celebrated many mile stones, all without him. If we saw each other in town, we acted as though we were strangers...which we were.



My dad and I have had contact now for the past few years. His life has not changed. None of the circumstances have changed. Along the way, though, I have felt God's nudging...it's always met with resistance from me. At first, the nudging was to reach out to him...and I did. I did the minimum of what God required (which is basically not really obeying, by the way.)


Here's what God has revealed to me the past couple of weeks: At the time, I really thought that by withholding a relationship with him, that I was showing him love. That he would see that I was dead serious about how wrong his choices were. God has now shown me that in part that was true, but the other part was just me withholding my love from him in order to punish him. Oh...it get's worse....He has also shown me that the love I am showing to my dad is not enough. He is asking me to lavish my love upon my dad. WHAT!?! My flesh HATES this. My flesh tells me my dad doesn't deserve it. But God's still small voice is so powerfully saying..."Sarah, you do not deserve it either....but I lavish it upon you ALL the time, show him love..."


So....I'm going to do it. It will be a supernatural work...it will involve all of Jesus, and none of me. It will be a battle, for me....and now you're in on it. Please pray for me...for all of the above stuff...and pray for my dad...that he would stop running from Jesus, and experience true joy and freedom.

Below is a pic from Christmas...me, my little bro, dad, and sister Lindsey.

(I like visuals...so you get one :)

I'll keep ya updated...

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Oh Yeah...Again.

It happened....I didn't think it would...but it did...I got ANOTHER one! WOO HOO! Now, before ya'll stop reading because I sound (all) conceited...you should know...that I just blab on and on about it because...I'm not an "awards getter" type person (all the English/grammar people just stopped reading after that new word I made up...which I do a lot, by the way) the shock of it just compels me to keep talking about it...incessently...you should feel bad for my husband.

My lovely new friend, mama belle, gave it to me. We met in blog-land and are now "BFF's separated at birth" (there, I made up another one) I love keeping up on her life...go check her out and see for yourself.


Gotta pass the blog-love on. To one "real life"friend, Heth @ From Under the Laundry Pile. Her blog is my favorite. Before I started blogging, I sat down one night and read her entire archives...back to 2005...it's THAT good. Check it out (if you haven't already) at your own risk...I'm just sayin...it'll suck you right in and then hours of your life will be gone....GONE.


And to the newest blog that I ADORE! Amy Beth @ Ministry So Fabulous...this girl is amazing...and so, SO FUNNY! Literally, I laugh out loud every time...sometimes I *snort* because it's so funny! Plus, she's doing a fabulous ministry to girls...go on...you'll enjoy yourself, I promise!

On another note...(see the randomness) I had someone (again) ask me what in the world I "blog" about. Do people ask you this? Every time someone asks that I have to force myself from laughing out loud. It's hard to give an answer to that...I'd rather they read and find out themselves *cough*. Truthfully, it's a hodge-podge of stuff. Because that is what my life is! That's who I am! I'm never ONE way, all the time. Sometimes God is teaching and showing me deep stuff...other days, it's just about enjoying life...and trying (desperately) to put into practice what I've learned.

I wish I could write inspiring stuff ALL the time...but seriously...I want this to be "real" and the real Life in the Parsonage is a whole huge mish-mash of stuff. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have... go on...keep singing the song...you know you want to ;)

There...that's what I blog about...awards and blogging....oh my.

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Race Day

Saturday, was finally THIS! Oh Yeah. I thought I should give you the report in pictures...because really, it makes it so much more interesting, right?!? (I have no idea why some of the pics are so small, except that sometimes blogger hates me...)

Pre-Race

This is my friend Jenni, me, and Billie (who I run with in tiny town...also my stunt double...people in tiny town get us confused)

Here's Heth using her classy photography skills to get a pic of all of us pre-race...she's good.

I'm sure you're dying to know what I learned from my first race...

• Knowing what size race T to order is of utmost importance...because it's really all about the free t-shirt and not the running...well, maybe a little about the running. (I ordered the wrong size...it goes to my knees...YAY for new jammies though *wink*)
• My friend Jenni said she was a slacker runner...she is a liar. She is super speedy...but I still love her.
• Having a group of friends to hang out with before and after makes it SO MUCH fun.
• I accomplished my goal. I finished without dying. Go me. Also, I finished the 4 mile race in 38 minutes and some seconds (I didn't pay attention to the seconds because I was so amazed at the 38 part) while being able to carry on a conversation while running...that there is true talent. They should make it an Olympic event...running and conversing at the same time. Maybe next year I'll put my MP3 on and NOT talk...ok...probably not...
  

  Me & Billie near the finish

And this ladies....this is what its truly all about...

Panera Bagels and coffee!

Oh...and this too...
Thanks for all the fun, girls!! We're on for next year!

PS - Heth and Jenni, thanks for the pics!

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Love Them

Moms: Love being one...love having one. Happy Mother's Day!

I have managed to make Mother's DAY into a weekend event...I think it should be changed to Mother's Weekend...or better yet, week. Last night, I overheard Eli, my middle one, telling his older brother that he wished there was a

"Kid's Day" then they could get candy. HA! I think I may have muttered under my breath something about Every. Day. Being. Kid's. Day... *smiles*

Happy Mother's Day!

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Rocks 4 Sale

Gotta love it. Little boys selling rocks out of the back of their Gator.

Their slogan, which Eli shouted over and over, at the top of his lungs..."Get your shiny rocks here"...they're quite the salesmen, they offered free flowers (weeds) with purchase. Price of the beautiful shiny rocks:$.50. You bet I bought some...I know a good deal when I see it.

Happy Mother's Day!

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It's Early...

Dear Mom,

How does one, especially me, put into words how thankful I am for you!?! I'm trying (very) hard to resist doing it in list form :) Here goes...

This is your 30th mother's day :) I'm pretty sure you probably have all the cards you've ever received (from anyone) somewhere in your hope chest :) And yes, I know you'll print this off to show to the ladies at work ;)

As I look back over the years of my life, not one has existed without you. From the beginning...from the moment you found out that you were going to be having a baby, at the tender age of 18, God has been working all things together for good. The choice to get married, although teenagers and probably not ready, you did it...and it was a good choice. It was the right choice. You created a home for me, that was filled with love. Not perfect, of course, but stable and loving. In some ways...we grew up and matured together.

We met Jesus, in such a real way, together. I, just a young teenager, and you 30 something with a husband and 3 children. Growing in our faith looked much different in each of our lives. As a 15 year old, there's definitely a lot less re-learning to do! God knew...what was in store. He knew, down the road, hard times were coming. I will continually praise Him for His timing. Together, we experienced the pain of deception and lies. You as a wife...and me as a daughter. The pain of the divorce, after 20 years of marriage, is never forgotten, by a wife or a grown daughter. But it is healed! Had God not drawn us to Him those years before...I know, we would not stand where we stand today.

Looking back I can now also see how God has used each of us to help the other grow. I'm sure that raising me (and my mouth) caused maturing and patience in you...and long-suffering :) Your life, the good and the bad, God has used to teach and train me. It is not over yet. The good and the bad will still come...it's part of living. It's the assurance that He's seen us through before, and He'll surely do it again, that brings peace.

I am thankful for you...and for Dennis. For the home and family that over the past 7 years you have created...blended. I know, that as you look at your children, God's grace and mercy is so evident in each of our lives. You had a big part in that.

Now, as a mother myself, I understand the prayers and the sacrifices. Thank you for always doing the best you knew at the time. And for growing and changing when God revealed to you it was necessary...I'm pretty sure that's the sign of a great mom...that and your grand-children adore you. (feel free to come get them anytime, by the way, :)

Happy Mother's Day...early (because no one will read this on Sunday...trust me:)

Much Love,

Sarah

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The Big One

It's tradition...or something like that. It's my 100th post...which means that since the end of February...I have blogged, ummm A LOT! Wonder how much time I've spent reading blogs? *cough* Let's not go there. Anyways, (or neways as I discovered the youngins are texting these days) its been a big week for me in blog-land. This week I had the MOST comments I've ever had on one post...24, I think :) AND I finally had over 100 visits in one day!! I'd been so close, 95, 97, but yesterday FINALLY! WOO HOO! I know, I know, it's not huge, but those of you with piddly little blogs, like myself...you get it.

So here's stuff you already know, or maybe wish you didn't know...and maybe a few new ones. Maybe.

1. In the words of DC Talk...I'm a Jesus Freak : avid enthusiast. Love of my life.


2. Wife to an amazingly loving, patient, handsome, gentle and forgiving man


3. Mom of boys


4. friend, daughter, sister


5. I love...Red shoes


6. patent leather shoes


7. heels


8. ballet flats


9. the smell of cut grass


10. Coke Zero


11. chocolate (anything)


12. Starbucks


13. Target


14. Gap


15. J Crew


16. Not cooking


17. Tulips & Daisies


18. blogging
    
19. Having a tan!


20. my cell phone


21. caffeine
22. The Living Bible


23. Leeland, Toby Mac, Casting Crowns


24. The smell of my boys after a bath


25. baby clothes


26. photos


27. being with other believers


28. I was 20 when I got married


29. 23 when I had my first baby


30. 24 when I had my second baby


31. and 27 when I had my 3rd baby


32. I always wanted 4 kids...but now I think 3 is good :)


33. love women's ministry


34. I get annoyed with people who take themselves too seriously


35. I could eat McDonald's french fries every single day


36. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom


37. still have a crush on my husband


38. love days when I don't have to go anywhere


39. but not too many of them in a row, because then I get stir-crazy!


40. Our dog's barking makes me want to pull my hair out


41. I'm a bit obsessive compulsive...blogging, for example


42. I have no self control if sweets are around. Can't eat just one. Ever.


43. I love to listen to music LOUD...if its soft, it annoys me.


44. I do not have an appreciation for art, classical music, etc. I am not "cultured"


45. I am very bad at returning library books on time...so I avoid the library


46. I have never eaten in a restaurant by myself...just the thought of it horrifies me :)


47. Did I mention I don't enjoy cooking ;)


48. I like the house neat and organized...but it's too big of a job


49. I have learned to appreciate hymns, but I prefer more contemporary


50. I became a follower of Jesus when I was almost 15.


51. My first car was an '82 Cutlass Supreme...the size of a boat.


52. I adore my 2003 Dodge Caravan...its silver and for no reasonable explanation, I love it...


53. I am very impatient about waiting in lines.


54. I can't sing...or carry a tune!


55. My parents divorced when I was 21 years old. So far in my life, it is the most difficult thing I have lived through...but God's grace has proved He works all things together for good...no matter how bad they may seem.


56. I was baptized, as a believer, in a river.


57. I eat honey nut cheerios for a snack at night...or during the day


58. I love living close to family.


59. I scrapbook, although right now I'm burnt out and don't want to do it


60. God has blessed me with amazing friends


61. I went on a missions trip to Tijuana Mexico the summer I graduated from high school...it was life changing.


62. I've always wanted a Basset Hound named Gus.


63. I have ginormous tonsils :)


64. Never broken a bone or had surgery.


65. I have had a car accident and totalled our car...no injuries.


66. I am paranoid about letting my boys use "men's" public restrooms...I may make them go in the ladies till their teenagers :)


67. I very rarely make my bed


68. I don't care if my kids make their bed


69. I hate stepping on Legos


70. I like thunderstorms.


71. I am a total grouch when I'm tired.


72. I have to force myself to eat breakfast...unless its a donut


73. love love love coffee


74. Do not like sponge bob


75. Love Tetris


76. I adore my in-laws


77. I adore fashion


78. I heart IKEA


79. I really like politics


80. I'm a die-hard conservative


81. I can sing every word to 99% of DC Talk :)


82. I was meant to have boys


83. I can get along with most anyone


84. I'm pretty easy going.


85. I love to laugh


86. I love watching movies with my husband


87. I spend the summer at the swimming pool with the kids.


88. I heart Facebook


89. I get allergies in the spring time, but not the fall


90. I love boneless buffalo wings


91. and fresh salsa with chips


92. I am hungry....a lot


93. my boys make me laugh all the time


94. I love rearranging furniture


95. I can't take a hint, unless its SUPER obvious!


96. I can't imagine not being in the ministry


97. I often wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't become a Christian.


98. I wish my relationship with my dad were different. I wish he'd stop running from Jesus.


99. I love something or hate it. Hot or cold :)


100. I'm surprised how easily I can ramble off junk about me!

I admit, I have never read all 100 items on other people's lists...I'll blame it on the self-diagnosed ADD. I barely read all of mine!

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