Hurts So Good...Again.

Saturday morning I woke up and it was 39 degrees outside and very windy. Called Billie and for two minutes we both tried to come up with a really good reason to get out of our long run.  We had some doozies, but in the end knew we needed to, as Nike used to say, Just Do It.

On the schedule:  Seven Miles.  SEVEN.

We headed to the trails in bigger city.  During miles 1,2, and 3 I spent my time hoping I might twist my ankle or something so that I'd have an excuse to stop, turn around and go home.  No such luck.

By about mile 4 I felt pretty good...over half way there.

Miles 6-7 felt a little bit euphoric...I can't quite describe it.  But it was good :)  Billie and I were so excited to not only have completed are longest run yet, but that it actually felt good at the end.

Now, I realize 99% of the people that read this blog probably don't give a rip about  these details...and that's ok.    But for me, these are not just details, they're break-throughs!  Physically,spiritually, and emotionally.

I picked up this book on Saturday.  Several people I know in real life have used this plan to run a marathon.  I have no marathon plans....yet...but the book deals a lot with the mental aspects of running, which I completely need for this 1/2 mary.   AND, for each mental limit I've placed on myself physically, I find one that I've also placed on myself spiritually.  

Here's to changing the way I think and allowing God to do what I've said is impossible.  He gets the glory for all of it...every little bit.

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Doubt

It's weird how one moment I can feel certain, convinced, hopeful and in the next moment I am uncertain, unconvinced, doubtful with a little fear thrown in to top it all off.

Last night I hopped on the treadmill...finally.  Mondays are short easy runs on our training schedule.  Billie and I decided we'd go it alone on Mondays rather than waking at 5 AM.  I, of course, put off the running till around 9 PM last night because I am an exceptional procrastinator.

It felt like a long two miles.  I didn't like it.  And then my thought process went from "I want to run, it makes me feel good, need to stick to the training program, I can do this, God wants me to do this."  to...

"Running is the dumbest thing ever, why do I do this again, this hurts, this is boring, what was the point of a 1/2 mary again?  Why bother?  WHY?!?!"

And then I caught myself...

One of those moments where I have that outer body experience, as if I'm watching myself having the above thought process.   The moment where I realize what my thought process has turned into.  The moment I replace whatever is going through my head with truth.

The truth is:

• Sometimes it's gonna hurt more than others.  I need to push through it and stop repeating the process of quitting when it just gets too tough.
• It's not just about running.  It's about discipline.  It's about sacrifice.  It's about commitment.  It's about finishing the goal that He has set before me.  
• It's about allowing Him to complete a work in me that seems nearly impossible.
• He has given me a body that is capable of running...it is a gift.  
• I am not allowed to quit on this one.
• it doesn't matter if I like it all the time.

I've said it a million times before, but the first 1/2 mile of any run is killer for me.  Hate it.  Actually, the first couple are rather painful.  It took me a long, long time to consistently run past that 2 mile point.  Because no matter what those experienced runners told me about it getting easier, about getting into a rhythm...I didn't believe them.  I believed it was different for me.  I believed that it hurt right now, which meant it was going to hurt EVEN WORSE later.  So I would run to the point of pain and quit.

I could throw in a breast-feeding analogy here, but I'll save that analogy for another time ;)

Back to my previous thought...running to the point of pain and never through it just made me MISERABLE.  And it kept me believing my own lie.  

Sometimes I do the same thing in real life.

Through training, the 1/2 mary will be physically possible...whether I really believe it right now is not the point.  It doesn't change the truth.  I need to follow the plan set before me, even when I don't feel like it...even when it's thoroughly painful and not any fun at all...because the goal...when I finish that impossible race, I will have conquered more than 13.1 miles.

I am learning a painful lesson.  Physically and spiritually it is about sticking to the plan, moving forward, adding more to what seems impossible...because I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13)

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Emptying My Head...

It's been one of those weeks where there is something going on every day/night.  That pretty much sums up the month of May around here.

I have learned a thing or two this week though:

Monday:  Noah and Eli had a Spring Music Concert for school.  Jake was still not feeling great, but this could not be missed...so like any good mother I hauled him along and spread the germs around some more *sorry to the peeps of tiny town*  Anyways, I had an idea that turned out to be GENIUS.  Can I say that without sounding arrogant?  ;)    I downloaded an episode of Spongebob and Fragel Rock on my ipod and brought along the the headphones...it completely entertained him!  

Do you think it would be inappropriate to take it to church on Sundays in order to keep him quiet?  I'm kidding...KIDDING...sort of ;)

Last night was our final night of Kids Bible Club for the school year.  It was really a fantastic year...and it will be a fantastic break this summer too :)  It was supposed to start at 7 Pm.  I had about 10 kids here by 6:15 PM...they were a little bit excited.  We cooked up 100 hot dogs for the occasion...they ate them ALL.  Yeah.  There were somewhere between 40-50 kiddos...no one could get a good head count because they were constantly moving.  It was overwhelming (in a good way) to listen to them sing in worship to God.  This is our third year of Bible Club, never did I imagine it would become what it is, and I look forward to what God has planned for it in the future.  He reveals the details to me  on a need to know basis :)

Friday night is a mother/daughter thing at a cute little tea room.  It involves dessert...and coffee.   Need I say more.

Saturday is a 4 mile race...remember this?  It's a fun one.  Never mind that I haven't run yet this week because of sickness...oh well.  Gonna try to get a run in tonight after a community meeting where they value my opinion.  Ha.  

Did I mention I ran SIX miles last Saturday WITHOUT WALKING.  I know.  I KNOW!  That's the longest I've ever run at one time...and it felt good...and bad...like that song Hurts So Good :)

Billie and I were beyond excited with ourselves.  The idea of running 7 more miles on top of that for a 1/2 mary sounds nearly impossible, but we've got all summer yet to train...we'll get there...or die trying.  

And that there is enough blabbing for one post...until tomorrow my friends...

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Refreshed

This has been one of my favorite weeks of vacation that Ben has had in a long time.  We haven't gone anywhere spectacular (except Sonic of course)  but it has been the perfect combination of just hanging out together and having fun while accomplishing nothing off my notorious to-do list.

Refreshing.

Here's the run-down of yesterday.  You thought you were off the hook, but of course you're not.  

• Billie and I ran 5 miles in the MORNING!  Did I mention it was at 5:30 in the morning?!?  Because generally, we're a little sluggish in the morning, but we're following a schedule now, and somehow, that piece of paper has magical powers over us that make us feel the need to obey it.  
• Then at about 9:30 AM I went for a four mile walk with another friend...and right now (today) I'm waiting for Billie to arrive for our 2 mile easy run.  Man, that sounds over-acheiverish.  I'll be whining the whole time about my sore legs, so I think that negates it.  
• All my favorite running clothes are wet because I left them in the washer over night.  I'm wearing all cotton...I hate running in cotton.  Boo.  What a terrible awful life I have ;)
• I'm starting over at season one of Gilmore Girls.  I think it is my favorite show of all time.
• I've gotta actually "do" something around the house today.  At least for awhile...
• There's a video of Julie on her blog today that just MADE my morning.  Three months from tomorrow she will officially join us here in tiny-town.  We're so excited to have her.  Heck, anyone who's spoken to me in the past 6 months is excited to meet her!
• Can't wait for tomorrow...May...it's one of my favorite months.  But it seems I blink, and then it's gone.  

Tomorrow I'll try to talk about something that does not involve food or running.  I'll make an effort anyways.

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He's Got a Plan...

When God is trying to teach me something, He hammers me from all sides. I'm pretty sure this is because if He tried from just one angle, I could pretend to ignore it. Generally, whatever He's trying to teach me is something that my natural self wants to just ignore...because it's gonna be hard. And I'm lazy.

It's also gonna be for my own good, because He loves me like that...enough to not let me settle for where I'm at.

Back in January two things happened.

1. The Bible Study, Living Beyond Yourself began. He used amazing women to bring this about, from the idea of it, to another bloggy pastor's wife to send me the DVDs, without hesitation!
2. The 1/2 Mary idea. An idea that I'd never even considered, because who in their right mind wants to run that long?!?! NOT ME. The idea was first planted by a good friend...and from there the Holy Spirit just would not let me get it out of my head.

There's a reason. There's a theme. The most important, spiritually, is that I have GOT to live beyond myself...I cannot make it on my own strength and abilities. I just cannot. It's one thing to know this, it's a whole other thing to actually stop doing it on my own, and allow Him to do it.

Here comes the 1/2 Mary plan into motion. I do not love running. I want to, I really want to. The idea of training for the 1/2 is as daunting as the 13.1 mile race for me. Because on my own, I'm lazy. And a quitter. And He whispers to my heart,

You're right Sarah...you won't make it on your own, that's why I'm here. And I'm not gonna let you quit, because this lesson here, it's so, so important my child. It's time to start living beyond yourself...spiritually and physically, because then maybe you'll get what I'm trying to teach you here.

And you know what? I believe Him. I'm scared. And I'm skeptical. And I'm still lazy and whiny...but He doesn't care and He doesn't give up, because He knows that when I finally "get" it, it's gonna all be worth it.

It's gonna be worth it.

I love songs that just speak exactly what I'm feeling...this one hits it dead on. If there's one thing that people walk away from, after knowing me in person, or through this blog, is that I am nothing without Him, nothing without His love.

Enjoy :)

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Hoping the Obsessive Becomes Compulsive...

It's a funny thing...how sometimes I think I know about something, and then I start learning more on a particular subject and realize that I'm actually COMPLETELY clueless!

It happens all the time. Which should probably tell you something about me...but let's move on.

I have a bit of an obsessive personality. When I fixate on something, there's little that can distract me. This is both good and bad...my husband would volunteer testimony.

Anyways, my latest fascination is running. I'm not new to running...but I'm just figuring out there's more to it then slapping on some shoes and hitting the pavement. And the more I learn, the more I want to know!

This weekend it was time for new shoes. Believe it or not, I do not get excited about buying new running shoes. 1 - they're expensive and 2 - no matter how hard I try to convince myself...they are just not cute. Ever.

We have this cute little shop called The Runner's Flat. They evaluate your running form which helps in getting the right shoe. They also have all sorts of running stuff...which I know nothing about yet because I don't run enough to get any gadgets...but after being in that store, I now have a wish list.

I'm a little attached to my old shoes. I've gotten the same brand the past two times...they're comfy, and familiar. Turns out that this time though, I need a different kind. No sacred cow, right?!?

Old Mizuno shoes:

New Saucony Shoes:

Here's the new knowledge that's rocked my world:

• Shoes have a shelf life. You heard me. Even without running or using them, the materials can break down from just sitting on the shelf.
• Socks matter. Who knew?!? Cotton=bad. Makes your feet stay wet and causes blisters and other yucky stuff. So...I have some new non-cotton socks, that have a R and L on each foot...because they go on a specific foot...craaaaazy.
• I bought a Runner's World magazine, which I'm totally gonna subscribe to. In there I learned that running 3 miles 3 times a week (which is basically what I do right now) will NOT help in weight loss. *insert kicking and screaming* It will help in "maintaining" but if your body is used to it, it will not help in the losing of weight. BOO. I have to start "interval" training...I'm not even going to explain...
• One marathoner wraps her toes in duct tape to keep them from rubbing together...I find that fascinating...because I am a weirdo.
• After running, you have a 30 minute time slot to re-fuel and re-build your muscles. There are certain foods that do this best. SEE, I told you...so. much. stuff.

So, since I'm sure the only people that have actually made it this far in the post are people who run (or are very, very bored), give me you tips, your tricks, your secrets...come on....I gotta know. And, if you know of any great sights or blogs about running, please let me know!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to continue my sanitizing of the house via Lysol. Oh yeah...two more barfers last night ;)

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I'm In

Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee is hosting this little challenge.  What's the challenge you ask?  To commit to get moving for 30 minutes a day (5 days a week) for the next 2 weeks.   Go on over to her sight to find out more, but the gist is...it starts tomorrow!   TOMORROW.
For the past couple of weeks I've been hobbling around like an old crippled woman...I blame amping up the running and yoga.  The sides of my stomach feel like someone punched me...they are that sore.   I'm doing The Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga...it is so stinkin' HARD...and I'm still at level one...if you can even count that, considering I can't even finish the whole 20 minute routine.  BUT, I'm counting Yoga in the challenge, because it's movement...and DANG IT, it's hard.  
Did I mention how hard it is?!?  I mean seriously, it looks so easy...but it's HARD.
So very very hard....
So, if you're in, let me know and go over to Linda's and let her know.  Then, in 2 weeks we can all link up and share our stories of pain and suffering...it's good times.
PS - I have that little *sarcasm on the little*  1/2 marathon coming up September 6th.  Technically training doesn't start for a little while, but my running was less than stellar all winter, so I've got to kick up the base mileage...which is kicking my tail right now.  You can also find me wandering around my house saying 13.1 miles...13.1 miles...what was I thinking, what was I thinking...

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Consumed

I really did try to come up with a new thought for this post, but my mind is sill consumed with all the stuff I've already blogged about this week...and then some.

Here's some beyond randomness that's going on in my head...

• This was my first week of half-marathon training. The halfsie (which is my new pet name for it) will be in June. I've got me some time. BUT, this body needs it, trust me. I printed the customized schedule from Runners World and highly recommend the website.
• Tomorrow night I have a date with my husband...which is looong over due.
• Still waiting to hear back from the principal of our high school about the exchange students placement. Last night we had our final interview and all of the paper work is done...now we wait. I would be a terrible candidate for adopting, I can hardly wait to find out if we get to host this girlie...and she's not even mine. All you bloggy friends who are in the adopting process have some special prayers coming from my direction...you are amazing.
• Living Beyond Myself. It's no easy task.
• Eli broke his glasses. We made it half the school year...far longer than I thought we would. If the eye Dr. can't fix them we're gonna make duct taped glasses cool again...I think we can pull it off.
• I can't stop listening to the following song today. It's sort of an oldie, which is why I heart it so much.
  
  

• I'm a little obsessed with the Pottery Barn Teen catalog right now.
• I've been a little scattered this week. Started lots of different things and finished nothing. Annoying.
• Happy Friday!! YAY!!

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Scarily Do-able...

I have some deep stuff to share with ya'll, but it just doesn't seem to be making its way from my mind to my fingers. Must not be time yet :)

So....today I am:

• excited about the lovely shade of yellow that I will be painting my kitchen...tomorrow! YAY!
• glad that for the most part, my house is much, MUCH easier to pick up than it was pre-organizational tangent. Good news.
• Pondering our newest Ladies Bible Study called Living Beyond Ourselves by Beth Moore. We started last night, and I am so looking forward to living beyond myself.
• which leads me to something so FAR beyond myself I swore I'd never in my right mind consider it...half marathon. HALF, not the whole shebang. 13.1 miles...still sounds terrible doesn't it?!? I printed off a customized training schedule according to how much we currently run and guess what? It looks do-able. Scarily do-able. All of me needs to be living beyond my own abilities and limitations, and instead relying on the power I have, in me, through the Holy Spirit.
• Missing my comfort zone a little...
• eating Wheat Thins...why do those little crackers have to be so tasty?!?

Seriously, I gotta wrap this up...my boringness today is...welll...boring me :)

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I Had a Secret...

It's Saturday.  It's snowing.  There's a blizzard warning. My house is a disaster.  Blah blah blah.

But I do have one useless piece of information for you to treasure today.  A little secret that's only between my treadmill and I...and now you.

You see, when I get on our treadmill, the evil piece of machinery wants to know how much I weigh...for calorie-burning-purposes.  Now generally, I like to subtract 5 pounds whenever mentioning an actual weight (just ask my drivers license) but not on the treadmill.  On the treadmill, I add 70 pounds.

Yep.  SEVENTY.

Know why adding seventy pounds makes me feel better?  

It's simple really.  

This way, it looks like I'm burning more calories when I'm running.  :)  

I don't even care that I'm not burning the number I see...all I care is that those little calorie counter numbers click by FAST.  Makes me feel better.  

It's the little pretend bubble I live in.  Welcome to it.

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Race Day

Saturday, was finally THIS! Oh Yeah. I thought I should give you the report in pictures...because really, it makes it so much more interesting, right?!? (I have no idea why some of the pics are so small, except that sometimes blogger hates me...)

Pre-Race

This is my friend Jenni, me, and Billie (who I run with in tiny town...also my stunt double...people in tiny town get us confused)

Here's Heth using her classy photography skills to get a pic of all of us pre-race...she's good.

I'm sure you're dying to know what I learned from my first race...

• Knowing what size race T to order is of utmost importance...because it's really all about the free t-shirt and not the running...well, maybe a little about the running. (I ordered the wrong size...it goes to my knees...YAY for new jammies though *wink*)
• My friend Jenni said she was a slacker runner...she is a liar. She is super speedy...but I still love her.
• Having a group of friends to hang out with before and after makes it SO MUCH fun.
• I accomplished my goal. I finished without dying. Go me. Also, I finished the 4 mile race in 38 minutes and some seconds (I didn't pay attention to the seconds because I was so amazed at the 38 part) while being able to carry on a conversation while running...that there is true talent. They should make it an Olympic event...running and conversing at the same time. Maybe next year I'll put my MP3 on and NOT talk...ok...probably not...
  

  Me & Billie near the finish

And this ladies....this is what its truly all about...

Panera Bagels and coffee!

Oh...and this too...
Thanks for all the fun, girls!! We're on for next year!

PS - Heth and Jenni, thanks for the pics!

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Sign Me Up

Oh bloggy friends...I have just officially signed up for my first race on May 10th. Now, before you get too excited, I should tell you that it is only a 4 mile race :) For the under-achiever living in me....that is perfection! There is also coffee and bagels at the end...yeah...like I said, perfection. It's Heth's fault, really. She made it sound so fun that I couldn't resist. She also mentioned the coffee...a lot.

I have talked my other friend, Jenni, into running with me (at a slacker pace, of course) I have set my goals low, so that I may achieve them! Run without dying...that's my goal. I think that's a good first race goal. Heth will probably have enjoyed a pot of coffee and 2 bagels and be back home before I cross the finish line...she's a speedy little thing. Can I officially call myself a "racer" cause seriously...that's just funny.

I started running a year ago in January. I happened to be eating (at McDonalds) with a new friend and she mentioned she ran. For some strange reason, I did something totally out of character and blurted out that we should run together! I left McDonald's that day and headed out and bought new running shoes. So unlike me. I say it's out of character because I seriously do not enjoy running...never have. I ran cross country and track my freshman and sophomore years in high school (for social reasons) and despised the running the whole time.

Now, we run together 3 mornings a week at 6 AM. Every time the alarm goes off, I think to myself..."you are crazy." Every. Single. Time. But knowing that she is going to be waiting outside, gets me out of my nice warm bed. Afterwards...I'm always glad I did it. But getting out of bed, never gets easier. Never.

I still do not enjoy running. *Smiles* People say you get "bit" by it...but I haven't :) I love chatting with my friend while I run...and it really is a good stress reliever, but the actual running...I am not in love with. But, like it or not...I need it. My clothing tells me I need it...because when I stop running...somehow the dryer shrinks all my clothes! That's my theory.

What does training look like for a slacker runner, you ask!?! It means I have to actually be putting in 4 miles at a time :) That's pretty much it. Oh, and it also involves one of these cute little numbers...

A running skirt! This isn't actually a picture of me in mine..it's from google images:) Mine is just plain gray...and I haven't had a chance to wear it yet...but I'm sure it will help me run faster and longer on race day...I'm sure of it.

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